Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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