i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
