I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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