so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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