It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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