when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
