i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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