You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
