Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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