is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
