Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
