ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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