office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
