If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
