Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
