Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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