Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
