Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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