Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
