i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
