Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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