and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
