she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
