He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
