No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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