I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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