the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize