why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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