I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
