Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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