I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
