Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't deserve a penis
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
