I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
