Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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