Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you had me at cake vodka
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
