yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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