Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
