I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
