I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
