Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
