Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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