Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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