Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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