Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
