omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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