so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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