Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Where were you when I was single???

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Still in diapers.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later

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(630): View more from Illinois

You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".

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(303): View more from Colorado

and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster

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(708): View more from Illinois

I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.

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(785): View more from Kansas

says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl

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(308): View more from Nebraska

I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.

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(212): View more from New York

Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.

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