just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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