I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
