I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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