we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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