I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
