he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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