OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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