I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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