im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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