I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
