Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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