I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
