If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
