You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
