There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Randomize
