You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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