worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it glows. i had to have it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
