He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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