about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
