is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
