Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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