Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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