Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
