Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.

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(574): View more from Indiana

he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour

(513): View more from Ohio

its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem

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(415): View more from California

I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

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(409): View more from Texas

The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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(614): View more from Ohio

fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder

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